So, you want to crochet...
Congrats! This won't be a guide of the actual stitches and projects, but it will tell you what you need to know from a self taught fellow crocheter. Let me welcome you into the world of needles, stitches, and pain!
Learn how to hold a needle, do chain sitch, and magic loop. After, learn basic sitches such as single, double, half double, front loop, back loop, triple, etc. You can do most projects using the first three alone, as long as you allow yourself to get creative with it.
Experiment! Do whatever you can think of. Make bad socks, misshappen small hats that your mom now uses as potted plant cozies, and unidentifiable animals. You will learn so much more than any tutorial if you start trying things.
Look at tutorials and patterns, but don't rely on them.